Arrg

So, my bane of being pregnant – shopping for clothes. The stuff I have was for winter pregnancies, and let’s face it, even at -40 your average pregnant woman would like to cover up even if she’s warm. So I have sweaters, long sleeved shirts and thick pants. Not good for the summer months.

The only two choices that I really have are Thyme Maternity or Motherhood Maternity. Not doing the Old Navy route (their stuff is so cheaply made, it’ll be a shock if it lasts a week), and the stuff in department stores is absolutely hideous. You will not see me even in my house in a lavender moomoo with bows on it.

So, the other day I went off to Thyme Maternity, since it was right beside the Sony Store and they were having this event where kids could get their picture taken with some guy dressed as Spiderman (Gunther Jr. was absolutely thrilled.) And at least I walked out of there with a few shirts, more because I was desperate for something to cover my ever expanding belly. They didn’t have anything that really jumped out to me and shouted “BUY ME!”, except for one shirt. Long, tunic style shirt, that’s lopsided in the front… Doesn’t seem to matter how I rearrange the front, my right boob keeps wanting to show off more of its fleshy goodness than the left. Figures… Eh, I’ll take a seam ripper to it when I’m done, pull a pattern, and custom make myself a few later with that problem fixed. But of course, I said the same thing about two other shirts I have, and have yet to even find the seam ripper. Oh well, I can just wait until K comes to visit and get her to do it :)

Then there’s Motherhood Maternity. They should change the name to Hoochymama Maternity. And with that explanation, you can guess correctly that I found nothing there.

And what is it with maternity underwear? I’m one of those women who like the full belly pants. Low rise is alright for this stage, but when I’m as tall lying down as I am standing up, nothing feels better than that whole big elastic panel holding things. So, all my jeans are that style, not this new fangled “low rise” style where you’re lucky if the playground isn’t exposed to the elements or you’re not sporting a second form of cleavage. And so, it was natural that when I got underwear, I got the full belly kind. Sure, they look like granny panties, but I figure I don’t have to play sexy for Gunther, as he already seemed to think that a number of months prior ;) Now, all they have are low rise and thong underwear.

Let me tell you my opinion of thong underwear. Aside from the fact that when I’m out shopping with my underwear purchasing sister, I like to tease her that “Hey, look! Underwear, 2/3rds off!”, I have never had luck with the buggering things. Either the back part is way too short, the middle is way too thin, or they’re made out of a material that chafes like hell. So, I don’t bother. I’m a lover of the “boy short” style underwear myself. Good coverage, low on the wedgie scale, and comfortable. And when I’m having fun trying to get in and out of sitting and lying positions, like I want underwear that rides up. But no one seems to carry the good ol’ granny style anymore. At this rate, I’m contemplating going commando for the last few months.

You’d think by now I’d know that I dislike the average clothing store. If I was any good at it, I’d design my own stuff, and market it to the world of women pissed off with the choices of outlets and shops across the country. Hey! Look! Underwear that cover your ass! Shirts that don’t show off every extra pound you’re carrying! Pants that don’t need to be hiked up every 5 minutes! Maybe I should change careers :D