So, my Mom and sister landed in Ontario yesterday from a week long visit here. Wasn't long enough, but it's better than not seeing them at all. And as usual, things were good and bad. Gunther Jr. was absolutely smitten with his Auntie K who would play cars with him in the dirt, and loved sharing popcorn and a movie with his Gran. And that was good. Then there was the manditory visit with my Dad's side of the family. Just because it's been 6 years (this past Friday to boot) doesn't mean we get to write that lot off. While I've been able to manage to grin and bear it for the past 2.5 years living here, my Mom and sister are quite happy with the fact that they don't have to put up with them... So joy of all bloody fucking joys, I got to put up with silent, cranky family members after a trip we did our best to cut shorter than the 3 hours we did stay. And it's like "breaking the seal" with them. The fact that I popped out of the woodwork and visited, now I'm being invited to everything from barbeques to my cousin's high school graduation (7 grandkids on that side of the family and this guy's the first one aside from me and my sister to graduate high school... I plan on rubbing that into any of them who dare say one thing bad about my Father. At least his genetics weren't warped the next generation down.)
Although Gunther Jr. isn't too happy about his Gran and Auntie K going back home, he keeps asking if we're going to visit them. A little annoying when he asks "Tomorrow?" all the time but at least he wants to see them. I can't help but remember that I didn't want to visit my Dad's Mom too often... It was always sooooooo boring! Sit on the couch, watch TV or read a book (at 3???) and don't move or talk back. Where as at my Mom's parents' place, my Grandma would give us cookies and my Grandpa would sneak us seconds at dessert. They had a park nearby and would walk us there. (There was one in the back of my Dad's Mom's apartment building, but do you think anyone would let us go there??? Nooooo.) And my Mom's parents actually talked to us. You know, "How are you liking school?" and "What's your dolly's name?" and stuff like that, things that a kid enjoyed talking about. All stuff the other one knew was through asking my Mom or Dad, and even though my sister and I answered her, she'd just ask them...
But I digress... The point? I'm just happy to see that it seems that Gunther Jr. is enjoying his family like I enjoyed mine when I was his age. Unfortunantly he doesn't have my Mom's parents for Great Grandparents... He got the chance to meet them both, but they've since passed away and he was too young to remember them. And don't get me started on how he never got to meet my Dad. Gosh, he would have loved his Gramps. But where I'm going with this is that here I am, in Edmonton, pretty much a world away from the family we love in Ontario. I traded family for fiancial stability. And while I wouldn't fault anyone for doing the same as I, I can't help but feel somewhat guilty for doing it myself.
I can't say I haven't given some thought to moving back as of late. With the housing boom out here, I can easily sell my house for double what I bought it for, if not more. Why not sell the house off, pay off the debts we have, use the remaining profit to put a huge down payment on a house in Sudbury (which for the same price, would be bigger), and live on one income? And that fills me with happy thoughts that are too clouded with dust of 3 years since I lived there. Until the breeze picks up and clears that dust for a moment and I realize that it's a bad idea.
Sure, there's family. I have my Mom, my sister, Gunther's Dad and Stepmom, all his aunts, uncles and cousins, and the only "aunt and uncle" (read = cousins that are more important to me than my real aunts and uncles) B and J. Then there's "Unkie" Paul and "Auntie" Joanne, Gunther's childhood friend and his fiance, who Gunther Jr. loves to visit when we're in the area. But really? No offence, but I left two people behind - my Mom and my sister. My Grandparents are dead (as much as their deaths should have never happened, long story). B and J are wonderful and amazing, but I talked to them more often than I visited. Skye lived in BC before I moved out here, and then 2+ hours outside of Sudbury after I left. Gwen lived 4+ hours away. Ashton and I worked different shifts... Love them all, but we all talked via email more often than in person anyways. And as for the rest of the population who bothered to keep me company at any time prior to me getting pregnant with G. Jr., they avoided me like the plague after they realized I was a "breeder". Out here? Well, I've got my Dad's family... Not like that's something I like to admit to in public but at least there's a lot of them, they're close by, and if I needed anything I could probably count on them to provide some assistance. There's my neighbours' D and C, and G. Jr. just loves their kids and C, who every now and then brings home his bobcat from work. Mikey, my co-conspiritor when I was working for the other company. Laurie, my scrapbooking pal. Gunther's friend Vern. So, more friends, less family (even if that side does outnumber my Mom's in quantity, I'm talking quality).
And then there's the job situation. If I were to lose my job tomorrow, I could find another job in 10 minutes. Would it pay as much? No. But lets face it, any money is better than none when you're unemployed. And that's something I couldn't get in Sudbury. If Gunther or I lost a job in Sudbury, we'd be screwed. And what if it gets bad there again? We could never afford to live out here in Edmonton now. We bought our house in the nick of time before the prices skyrocketed. Even apartments here are insanely priced.
Plus, lets face it. Sudbury's decrepit. Old, dirty, crumbling... Outside of the city there is natural beauty in the lakes and trees, but within the city limits it's rather ugly. The city began its downward spiral in the 70's and it looks like the place just stopped right there in that decade, regardless of whatever "rejuvination" has been done to the main areas. Plus, as much as I'd like to be closer to my family, they never visited much either. It was us who treked our asses over to their place, hardly the other way around.
Do I still want to go back? Yeah. And if it was worth the risk, I'd be packing right now. Doesn't help that my Mom and sister are back in Ontario and I would have much prefered them to still be here. And it also doesn't help that its bloody freezing here while its perfect swimming (in a LAKE!) tempreture out there. Mind you, I'm sure this desire of mine will die off when I'm out there next and become reminded why I left in the first place.
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